I'm okay but bad news!

October 16th my sister-n-law passed away. She was taken to the hospital on Saturday and we went to see her on Sunday. We got a call from her husband that she was doing really bad on Tuesday so I left work to go with my husband to see her. We were there by noon and she passed at 5:00pm. It was the most horrible experience that I have ever been through in my entire life. I've been with my older relatives when they passed but it doesn't even compare to a woman of 53 years. She had a 9 year old adopted son. It was completely devastating. We walked on September 16th for the Komen race for a cure. I can’t fathom that I will be in the walk next year with a sign on my back that says in memory of…

I was given the opportunity to speak at her funeral. I felt that I had to go up and share my feeling. I just can't express how it feels to go through the diagnosis, treatments, and surgeries with someone step by step and you make it and they don't. I just don't understand.

I know I've posted in the past that people have told me how lucky I am that I only have breast cancer and that it is so treatable these days and that I'd be fine. Do you know how crazy that would be to tell her grieving family? Please, for me, make sure that people understand that there is no good type or amount of cancer. Cancer doesn't always take everyone I understand that but it takes a whole lot from those who get it.

I know you’ve been wondering how I’ve been doing. I’m as good as can be expected. I had my last treatment of Herceptin last Friday. I’m experiencing more pain in my bones and in the surgery areas. My stomach is getting really bloated too. Some of my blood numbers have fallen but are still in the range (barely). Other numbers have increased but again still in the range. I have a follow up appointment on November 13th. She’ll draw blood again and see where I’m at. Blood work doesn’t always mean early detection, same with many of the scans. It seems the doctors will error on the side of everything is fine until there’s no doubt.